Here We Go Again

I ran across some of the most ridiculous “advice” today. I can’t wait to share it.

But first, let me explain WHY/HOW I stumbled across this advice.

You see, I’ve been trying to figure out if I’m ready for a relationship and what that looks like/what it means/etc etc. You know how introspective this girl can get. I have chosen to spend my “down time” (aka: while I sit on the couch in my bathrobe, paint my nails, and watch The Office on Netflix) shopping for my next potential man.

Deal breakers for me include:

  1. Active lifestyle (yes, I want someone who is healthy and fit, but not all your pictures have to be you climbing a mountain, skiing/snowboarding/wakeboarding, or hiking with your friends dog) – basically, i’m not looking for someone who will order 2 pizzas and then eat 1.5 of them.
  2. Bad teeth <– yes, I’m aware that this is shallow. Sure it’s cute if you have a chipped tooth from when you fell skateboarding when you were in high school.. but really, anything too yellow (i’ll assume you’re a smoker or have bad hygiene), or too misshapen and crooked.. I just can’t.
  3. Any “I hate Trump” propaganda. Don’t get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. However, I’m not interested in someone who advertises in this way.
  4. Unemployed (also see – lacks ambition). I think this goes without saying. I hustle too hard to be taken advantage of or to have to foot the bill on EVERYTHING we do. I’m just not interested in that, sorry.
  5. Smoker. <– do I even need to explain this?
  6. WHO ARE YOU? All of your pictures are in groups, seriously – how am I supposed to know who you are?
  7. All of your pictures have women draped all over you. NO, this does NOT make you more desirable to me. You look like a flirt or that you sleep with all your female friends. Sorry, bye.

So as I put together my list of “deal breakers” that I use when decided to swipe Left or Right, I’m also deciding what makes ME a “keeper.” Other than my dog, Butters. Which is how I ended up in the pinterest vortex.

Do yourself a favor – NEVER SEARCH FOR “dating advice for women in their 30’s”

SMH. But really, smh.


It starts off by reminding you that you are old, dried up, and that men will see you as someone who just wants to get impregnated as soon as possible. That you’re competition is women who are 10 years younger than you, regardless of the age of the man.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that I am fighting the war on aging the best that I can by eating healthy and spending a ridiculous amount of money on skincare. But the idea that I am no longer desirable simply because I am no longer in my 20’s is pure rubbish.

Then it goes into the details about all these things you MUST DO to get and keep a man’s attention. Now, I don’t consider myself a feminist (when I think of feminist, I think of a man hating, angry lesbian… sorry?), but I do believe that I am worth more than the label a man may create for me.

I pulled this from a website after googling “Dating in your 30s” — granted, I absolutely took it out of context, and the rest of the article isn’t too bad… If you want to read it, you can view it here.You’re not in your 20s anymore. Remember being in your early 20s and seeing those obvious, older bachelors and cougars prowling around the younger crowds? You don’t want to be that older creeper.”

Then you end up on these dates, and the type of man you meet resembles…


Or maybe, sometimes that’s how I FEEL. Like I’m trying to figure out exactly what you want in a woman, so I can [briefly] embody those characteristics and qualities… and then slowly over time, MAYBE you’ll love the real me, if I show you – slowly – piece by piece.

But let’s be honest. I’m a grown up now and I don’t have time for that shit. So, let the sass fly! If you don’t appreciate my wit, sarcasm, and ambition… then you don’t deserve to see me naked. Sorry, NOT SORRY.

Then I came across this meme – and it just made me happy. So I had to share it. Because I feel like it’s exactly how I feel about people I go on dates with.

I go from being SUPER excited — well, maybe this will work — no, this will not work — WHY AM I STILL HERE.

BUT- BUT – BUTTTTT WAIT. This is actually a NEW thing. If you read one of my previous posts: Dating in the 21st Century; you’ll remember that I generally have good luck when it comes to dating. I don’t have to kiss too many frogs to find a prince (correction – a “Mr. Right Now Prince”). But recently, I find myself beating my head against a wall with some of these fellas. Really, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING POSTING A PICTURE OF YOURSELF 50LBS AGO – DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T NOTICE!?

I just do not understand the logic that goes behind fabricating a false profile. If your intention is to meet someone who accepts you/loves you for who you are, then just be honest and be yourself. Quit wasting mine & other peoples time for that matter.

I do not care how brilliant your personality is if you start off by lying and deceiving. Not okay.

But alas, never give up! Because really, regardless of how horrendous your date is, there is always something positive to gain from it. You learn more about yourself in the process, what you like/dont like, and you took a risk!

Without risk, there is no reward my lovelies.


One thought on “Here We Go Again

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