Why Female Friendships are Actually Important

Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as I’m choosing to celebrate, “Galentine’s Day.” My house is properly decorated with pink streamers, red and pink paper lanterns, and sparkly silver wall coverings.

I went to the grocery store yesterday to get all the ingredients I need to make my single’s soiree one for the books! Pink champagne (the good shit), jumbo sea scallops, asparagus, arborio rice, ghee, oh – and a hot pink Capri Blue (Volcano) candle. Cause I obviously want my home to smell like Anthro. Always. Obviously.

You could say I’m a *wee* bit excited for this evening. Perhaps, the most excited I’ve been on a Valentine’s Day evening – ever. I also happen to absolutely LOVE throwing parties. Especially ones where I get to cook. That are in my home. In which people actually show up. (Major perk for having GOOD friends btw – is that they show up and don’t bail or no-show on you!)

This year browsing social media, talking to friends, family, co-workers, I find myself more happy than ever to celebrate those who love. Celebrating relationships of all kinds. Whether they are friendships or romantic relationships – love is a powerful, universal emotion that affects so much of our life. From wanting more of it, to denying it, to withholding it, to giving it. It is human nature to seek companionship and to give and receive love.

Do you remember when it seemed like the “cool” thing to brag about only have male friends, because women were “too much drama.” I do. I’ve always had a few girlfriends here or there, but when I was younger I was more of a tom-boy, had lots of brothers (who had lots of male friends), therefore – I was consistently surrounded by men/boys… who I thought were my friends.

Sure, there are those men who will ACTUALLY be your friend. But it’s been my experience that it is RARE to find a male friend who truly remains your friend. There is either some unrequited attraction (by them, or you), you’re not taken seriously enough when something is bothering you and you need to talk, you get drunk and hook up and then it gets awkward, they embarrass or tease you after learning things about you in a public place (yep, that’s definitely happened to me). I believe that having male friends is important to being a well-developed individual, it’s nice to be able to bounce ideas off of them. Their brains work differently than ours, so sometimes it gives you a chance to get some perspective.

HOWEVER – there is NOTHING that can replace having some seriously amazing, supportive, badass girlfriends.

With that in mind, I decided to put together all the reasons why I think having female friends is actually important, should be prioritized and celebrated. Let us dig in:

  1. Empowerment & Understanding – Once you find a (some) seriously amazing girlfriend(s), you won’t be subjected to negativity or bitchiness. Instead, you’ve got this amazing powerful group of women who inspire and empower you to achieve your potential. All while having your back and understanding when things get in the way. You’ve got your own personal cheerleaders who aren’t afraid to have differing opinions on highly-sensitive subjects, but also “girl talk” about the hot guy who you keep running into at the dog park.
  2. Find Your Tribe – As I’ve kind of hinted at, you don’t need a massive gaggle of girlfriends to be fulfilled. Truthfully, props to you if you can find enough girlfriends who you like, trust, and manage to get along with each other as well. It is HARD to find/make friends when you become an adult. When you’re younger, relationships grow so much more organically – probably because you’re surrounded by so many options, at minimum 5 days per week. As we get older, we have less and less opportunities to meet new people and then somehow turn that new person into a friend. It takes vulnerability on both parties and a big risk on someone’s to reach out to make that connection happen. But guess what – your group of girlfriends doesn’t have to look like “sex and the city”, maybe it looks a little more like “the office.” <– glamourous girls versus the awkward family photo group.
  3. Every Relationship Requires Work – and guess what, most often than not, if you find a good girlfriend, she’s willing to put in the work. It’s a see-saw type of relationships, rarely will you ever be on the same page giving the same amount or taking the same amount. When one person is lacking, the other gives more and vice-versa. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE – It’s okay to tell your friend, “I need more from you.” And she won’t call you needy. HA! Yeah, girlfriends are awesome.
  4. Role Models – I don’t know about you, but I try to surround myself with strong, powerful, independent, vulnerable women. Women I look up to. Women I want to be like. I’ve got friends teaching me how to be open and honest in romantic relationships. I’ve got other friends teaching me how to stick up for myself and not get pushed around. I’ve got other friends who are helping me put a budget together (or maybe just telling me to quit shopping before I go broke). The point is, you should surround yourself with women who embody qualities you admire and strive for (cause guess what, they’ll rub off on you!)
  5. Affection is not sexualized – I know, this seems weird to put on here. But did you know you can hug, kiss, and smack your girlfriend on the ass and she won’t think you’re trying to pick up on her? Weird, right? Also – when i’m talking about affection, i’m referring to a more open-hearted style. Where they show up with ice cream or “magic pizza”  when you’ve had a really hard day because your mom got diagnosed with cancer, or you’re tired of the bully at work who won’t stop picking on you, or maybe that guy you really liked ghosted you. The really amazing girlfriends won’t make it a competition of who was hurt more by whom/what. They’re there to listen or maybe to just sit in silence and binge watch Netflix with you. Regardless, that’s some serious love.

So in the spirit of Valentine’s Day – I say… “Happy Galentine’s Day” to my girlfriends. I am so grateful for each and everyone of you and the difference you have made in my life and imprinted on my heart. I see a little piece of you in me and that makes me SOOOOOO happy!

Cheers ladies, happy love-day. Embrace your friendships, relationships, parents, whomever you’ve got – love on them today, make sure they know it!



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Single, 30-something, badass girlboss, Seattle, works too much and trying to figure out how to survive in this world.